Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Last week, I wrapped with plans to expand on the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Here's my personal take on them during first year of divorce. True to form, they're twisted and yet, truthful:
- Denial. Anger expressed over trivial things because I was devastated by the minimization of the major things.
- Anger. An outward expression of the inward pain caused by blatant disrespect, both personal and for the female gender.
- Bargaining. This was my "anger management" phase where like Esau in Genesis 27, I consoled myself with the thought of murder.
- Depression. In this stage I conceded as to just how vulnerable a position I allowed myself to be in when I got "hosed," which included a secondary phase expressed with the rhetorical question: Why did I eat, drink, smoke, or do that?
I refer to this stage as downward dog depression.
- Acceptance. I resolved to be angry about what happened and yet refused to allow the anger to define me.
Well, there it is, folks. Anger was a staple emotion in every stage for this bible-study girl gone wild with emotion. But you know what I've learned through this experience (still learning)?
It's okay to be that angry God's big, and He can take it. I learned that He was angry, too.
There's a bible verse in Ephesians that I didn't fully understand until I came face to face with more anger than I ever thought any one human being could feel over betrayal.
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the enemy a foothold (4: 26-27).
I'd been taught in church not to go to bed angry. To move through anger quickly. But for me, this passage means something entirely different now. My Savior is my Light. When I stopped trying to let go of the anger and instead allowed the Light to hold me--angry me, I knew I was.
The take away for me is, "Don't be angry in the dark. Be angry in the Light."
Angry? You can trust Jesus with your anger. Ask Him what He has to say about your anger, given your circumstances, you might be surprised.
You are not alone,
Published on Tuesday, October 14, 2014 @ 7:29 PM CDT