Deep down, I know. I control nothing. Like the sun, I rose this morning because God said Wake up sleepy head.

I go to work. Get paid. Tithe. Pay bills. Fund the savings account when I can. Shop a little when I can. And then I forget. I control nothing. Visible provision fosters the feeling that it's me who directs my fate. Awe, Control. The grand illusion. I confess. I like the illusion.

When provision shines high in the sky I "cast my care upon the Lord" with ease. But what about seasons of financial overcast when my trust in God is tested in the midst of what I can't see. In the absence of sun-shiny-provision the doubt in my heart is exposed.

When fear and uncertainty arise. I confess. I confess because the tender mercies of a loving Father compel me to tell the truth. I tell. He listens. I cry. He comforts. I wait (longer than I'd prefer). And then God commands provision to shine brightly once again.

I feel badly about the times I can't offer Him 100% trust. He is, after all, 100% trustworthy. I thank Him for loving me regardless. I thank Him for loving me enough to cloud the traditional ways my needs are met just long enough to remind me that He is my Source. Though the channels may change, the Source remains the same. 

Faithful God is in control.

"Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the light even though for the moment you do not see."  --Bill Wilson

What are you weathering in life today? Does provision shine brightly, or are you in a season of overcast and uncertainty?

You are not alone,

Wendy