I'm working on a non-fiction project called Bohemian Forgiveness: Five Unconventional Paths to Forgiving What You'll Never Forget. There's not much to see on the Facebook page for now but it will come, and I'll be sure to keep you posted.
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Good Morning! Tuesday's blog was about listening with your eyes as you listen to others. Today, let's take a moment to ponder this in regards to listening to oneself. What does this look like? Literally.
For me, listening with my eyes is expressed through the acknowledgment and timely repsonse to personal needs. It can be something as simple as pouring myself a glass of water when I'm thirsty or taking a bathroom break when it's tempting to ignore my bladder's prompt, and continue to work. (I mention this because I've never met a survivor who hasn't, at one time or another, ignored her body's basic physical needs.) But it also requires me to acknowledge my God-given discernment. Intuition, you might say. And this is where Christ nudges me to take risks.
Healing requires truth. It's been almost a year since my husband moved out. Four months before he left, I'd set up camp in the guest room and sought counseling. (I thank God for this--a jump start on healing before divorce court.) The more time passes, the more I recognize how poorly I was treated. And subsequently, see how I minimized my needs, heart's desires, and value, in order to maintain the relationship.
Marriage is a godly covenant. There is nothing godly about abuse in any form. Abuse dulls the senses. Next thing you know, you've become but a shadow of who you once believed you were in Christ. I can see this now. Granted, my feelings are not always factual, but I no longer ignore them. I take them before God and if He reveals action is required, then I take action.
The key to "seeing" is to hold what we see before the Light. To ask God what He has to say about it and don't allow fear to keep you from having a difficult conversation with another person. And then detach from the outcome.
When we acknowledge what we see in ourselves and in those with whom we share our lives with, God will faithfully bring what is skewed, into focus.
"I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I wil lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, And crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, And not forsake them" Isaiah 42:16.
If you're not sure what you "see," just ask.
God, I'm grateful that your eyes do not slumber. As You order my steps today, open my eyes to see one thing about myself that I've minimized in order to survive, maintain appearances/relationships, or remain numb. And God, if I freak out for a little while, may I be accutely aware of your faithful embrace and loving intentions toward me. Reveal the value in me and grant me eyes to see! In Jesus' name, Amen."
You are not alone,
Published on Friday, May 9, 2014 @ 8:31 AM CDT