I'm working on a non-fiction project called Bohemian Forgiveness: Five Unconventional Paths to Forgiving What You'll Never Forget. There's not much to see on the Facebook page for now but it will come, and I'll be sure to keep you posted.
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Some days I have something to say. Something helpful or encouraging or witty or all of the above. At the moment, I got nothin'.
What I "got" is a shoulder injury and a day job as a clinical massage therapist. And divorced.
This is not the first time I've been up against a rock and a hard place. The last time I became a single mother, I had a six-month-old baby, two young sons, no job, poor health, and no hope of receiving child support from my drug-addicted baby-daddy.
I'd planned on starting my own business. What I hadn't planned on was single motherhood with a baby who hadn't napped since he was in the womb. With a lot of coffee and against all odds, I took a leap of faith straight into entrepreneurship. Two years later I had a thriving business, and I was building my very own house!
A miracle. No doubt.
How, I wonder, would it have gone down if I refused to step out in faith?
This was in 2000.
Fifteen years later it's time to jump again. (Again, Lord?)
I joke with God that if He doesn't grant me wings in this next leap of faith to kindly make sure I die when I hit the ground. And then I add that falling to my death in an act of faith will reflect poorly upon Him. (He smiles.)
My friends send steady texts of encouragement. Of course, they're all married to men who support them fabulously. One sweet friend, whose prayers I treasure, sent me the infamous bible verse about how "not one sparrow falls to the ground outside the Father's care." "Fear not"--"I'm worth more than many sparrows" (Matthew 10:29--31).
Look, I know I'm supposed to be all "fear not." But the day I received her text, my shoulder was half frozen from the pain, and I'd received notification that my office space has been offered to a title company and I have 30 days to relocate my biz.
Under the circumstances I actually thought to myself: Thanks, but I don't wanna hear about birds right now.
God knows it wasn't a literal attack on the holy writ. It's just that I've seen dead sparrows on the ground. And on this particular day, I wasn't grateful that they were "inside the Father's care" when they ate dirt.
The promise is not if we try we won't fail. The promise is regardless of the outcome we remain in God's care.
So this morning I had coffee with Gideon, a fellow frightened risk taker, who once said to God, "If now I have found favor in Your sight, then show me a sign that it is You who talk with me" (Judges 6: 17 NKJV).
Gideon was afraid. Gideon hoped for the best. And Gideon was willing to take a leap of faith as long as he knew it was God who'd authored the leap.
This, I can live with. Even if I die trying.
My, my. Look who embraced her inner Chatty Cathy and blogged herself into leaping. Validation sprinkled with inappropriate humor is the faithful road that leads me home--where I no longer question my sanity, and perfect Love is sure to cast out fear.
Looking back on my life, it's apparant I've always been a risk taker. A gutsy broad since birth, really. So yup. I'm going for it.
How about you? Are you standing on the edge of a cliff today? Is God asking you to take a leap of faith? Embrace your inner gutsy broad.
You are not alone,
Published on Wednesday, March 18, 2015 @ 10:05 AM CDT