"To forgive from the heart one must identify and replace self-destructive patterns with actions that fortify the spirit and starve the carnal desire for revenge."
I'm a survivor of multiple years of child sexual abuse and later, long term betrayal in marriage. I know how it feels when the pastor says, "You must forgive"--but you can't. I know the longing for validation, comfort, and justice. The rage of being discounted and the the despair of feeling misunderstood.
Today, against all odds, I see the struggle differently. I see beauty in my breakdowns. Jesus knew my heart was too broken to forgive, and why. He didn't tell me I had to forgive--or else. Rather, He gathered up every fragment of my heart. He loved until I could listen. He loved until I could take action on behalf of my true worth.
He loved me out of hating on the folks who find success in conventional messages on forgiveness. He loved me out of judging the sincerity of pastors who can only preach from a specific frame of reference--their own.
He gave me the great gift of time. And from a litany of abuses I will never forget and a deep love for the Holy Writ, emerged a seriously fresh approach to the age-old topic of forgiveness. One that makes sense to a broken heart.
Love makes a way.
Bohemian Forgiveness: Five Unconventional Paths to Forgiving What You'll Never Forget, is the working title for a non-fiction project intended for women in peer support group study with a high level of leader-learner autonomy. I am represented by WordServe Literary and my book proposal is in the submission process with publishing houses. There is nothing over-night about this process, and that's fine by me. (The ability to wait is one of my super powers.)
the ways you can help
- Pray. Please pray for the women who've suffered traumatic abuse and betrayal. And pray that I will walk humbly before God all the days of my life--no matter the circumstances.
- Become a BFF (Bohemian Forgiveness Friend) by liking my Facebook page. There's not a lot to look at here. Not yet. I'm working behind the scenes to implore the expertise of professionals. It will come in time.
- Instagram. Again, not much here but a hand full of pics of my rock-star dog and best friend in the world, Hannah Banana. I've got to find an angle to what "everyone else does" that meshes with my purpose and passion. I know my strengths and weaknesses. Professional social media presence requires a professional skill set I clearly lack at the moment. So, the search is on for the professional who has what I don't. Follow me on Instagram today and one day you can tease me about how you remember when I had like five pics posted and they were all of my dog. It's such a mystery why I'm still single. (Read with laughter.)