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"Many times they afflicted me from my youth, yet they have not prevailed against me" (Ps 129:2).
Last week, I wrapped with plans to expand on the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. (If you missed it, scroll down--it's beneath this one.)
My personal take on these stages during the first year of my divorce:
- Denial. Anger expressed over trivial things due to my devastation over major things.
- Anger. Outward expressions (aka meltdowns) of the inward pain caused by the ex-hub's blatant disrespect for myself and the female gender.
- Bargaining. This was my "anger management" phase where like Esau in, Genesis 27, I consoled myself with the thought of murder.
- Depression. In this stage I awakened to just how vulnerable a position denial leaves a woman. This phase included a parallel phase replete with rhetorical questions such as: Why did I eat, drink, smoke (nothing illegal), or text that? Followed by the tearful prayer: Jesus, please forgive me.
- Acceptance. I resolved to be angry about what happened. I refused to allow the enemy's version of anger to define me, and I sought God for His expression of righteous anger. (Btw, this is where new life begins. If you've yet to garner control over your anger, take heart. In the arms of All Mighty God, you will. You will, because it's HIS will.)
"Healthy anger expresses limitations--i.e., what is acceptable and what is not. Blaming anger recycles the history of betrayal and all the intense feelings that are a part of a trauma bond."
Published on Tuesday, October 14, 2014 @ 7:23 PM CDT