“Quieting troubled waters is not the same as rescuing drowning people, and smothering conflict is not the same as helping people to forgive each other.”

—Lewis B. Smedes



This bible application is currently in the works. The audio message has been revised due to the fact that in 2013 life as I knew it fell spectaculary apart. Fortunately, God has a way of gathering up the fragments so nothing is wasted. I'm grateful to be back. Heart intact. A little worse for wear. I apologize for the long dealy in re-recording the audio . . . for now it's been added to a very long to-do list.

The new message will be available closer to the bible application's birthdate. Thanks, by the way, for your patience. 

Perhaps you're not filled with warm intrigue, but rather, thinking I'm sorry life as you knew it fell apart, glad to hear God gathered the fragments, but how can you help me? What's in it for me? Why should I check back at a later date?

Here's why: My original message, in a nut shell, is that there are five instinctual desires that arise from harm and betrayal.

  1. The desire to kill: Genesis 27. Esau consoles himself with the thought of killing his brother, Jacob.

  2. The desire to flee: Genesis 16. Hagar flees due to Sarai's mistreatment.

  3. The desire for revenge: Psalm 55. King David asked God to send his enemies alive down into hell. (Who knew the angry retort, "Go to hell!" originated in the Bible.)

  4. The deisre to deny: Jonah 1. The prophet Jonah falls into a deep sleep in the midst of a life threatening storm.

  5. The desire to die. Jonah 3 & 4: Same prophet--different day. Jonah tells God he'd be better off dead than to see his enemies get away with their evil conduct.

Seriously, this is why you should read your Bible. If you don't have a Bible, buy one. If you can't buy one, borrow one. If you can't borrow one, steal one, and then ask God to forgive you.

I previously believed these desires, though instinctual, arose from the flesh--which is bad. And that through identification and confession, God frees us from the destruction they are sure to bring--which is good. It would've made a great ten-weeek Bible study for "good" Christian girls who don't have emotional meltdowns. 

But that was before the crumbling of my marriage, and subsequently, a long season of meltdowns. God transformed my message. And it happened first in my own heart.

Aside from the validation I hope you received from this list alone, I will show--not tell, how God, not the enemy, is the very source of the desires we attempt to pray away. And that divine fulfillment of these desires reveals the bridge to forgiving what you'll never forget.

God sent His Son to fulfill the law and our heart's desires. What pray tell does this look like in my life today--in your life today?

Stay tuned, my friend.