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Yesterday, I had four things on my "to do" list. The number of items I'd crossed off my list by the end of the day? Zero. This baffles me, given the fact that I don't generally go into the office on Tuesdays. In my life, Tuesday is Saturday.
By the end of the day, I'd packed and stored the last of the Christmas decorations previously stowed in a spare bedroom. (I decorate every room, so this is no small feat.) My sister informed me that according to Jeff Foxworthy, if you still have a Christmas tree up in Febuary, you might be a "red neck." To which I countered, "OR--if it's May and you're boxing up Christmas decorations, you might be a single mother."
(There's a point to this . . . I promise.)
This time last year, my ex-husband was preparing to move out. Suffice to say, our son's world resembled a plastic ball turning at the will of a crazed hamster. I've touched on how I didn't see "it" coming, though one year later, I can attest, girl!--I was blind.
Here's what I'm learning about how divorce effects students (namely, my student/son): This school year has been a beat down. For me and my son. I've been in some kind of weird over-drive, in an attempt to ensure he is successful in his academics. But it's not working. And up until yesterday, I unknowingly minimized the pressure my son experiences regarding school-work. He, like me, has days when he feels overwhelmed and would prefer to not be there at all. But go. He must. And when he comes home from school with a list of four things to do (homework), if he blows it off, he fails. That is a ton of pressure for a freshman who lacks the life skills of a forty-six-year-old, who occasionaly blows off her "to do" list, and opts to knock out the chores that require a minimal amount of intellect.
Yes, I want my son to do well in school. But as I pray for wisdom in how to parent him through the effects of divorce, I'm more interested in the state of his heart. And right now, beneath all that heavy metal music, his tender heart is healing. I don't have a lot of answers for this scenario. Not yet. So, I'm asking God. And as He responds to the hearts-cry of this single mother, I'll be sure to tell you what He tells me. Yesterday, He told me that ten years from now, we won't remember which assignments he failed. We'll remember whether or not we failed each other.
Zach: Mom, I'm staying after school for tutoring in World Geography.
Me: That's great. But what about English?
Zach: (silence) Walks away.
(Two hours later. God gets a hold of me)
Text to Zach: Z. This morning when you told me you were staying after school for Geography and I said, "What about English?" . . . I realize that must have felt crappy. So I just wanted to apologize. And commend your effort. I know this year has been a huge transition. I'm committed to supporting you any way I can. I want to help bring YOUR best out in you--not MY best out in you. Love, Mom
Okay poeple, he's a young man of few words. He's fifteen! But last night, he asked me to sit at the table with him as he did his homework. And this morning, he thanked me for taking him to school.
I'm just sayin'. What is God sayin' to you about your kiddo today?
We are not alone,
Published on Wednesday, May 14, 2014 @ 10:17 AM CDT