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"Many times they afflicted me from my youth, yet they have not prevailed against me" (Ps 129:2).
I'm not blogging regularly. All I know to tell you is the truth: I'm tired. When my friend lost her battle with cancer I was tired and heartbroken. From there, life just kept happening. Another friend who has bone cancer (breast related) just lost her father and her husband is battling kidney cancer. I hate cancer! Last week I looked in the mirror and saw a fatigued reflexion of a woman with big dreams.
Saturday morning I intended to read my bible, but the 2010 fall Pottery Barn catalog won my attention. Two cups of coffee and several "dog-eared" catalog pages later, I decided to write God a letter. (See, I really do practice what I preach.) There's something about writing what we don't feel comfortable confessing out loud. Here's a peek into my journal:
'Don't feel much like blogging. I feel like I'm letting my readers down, but then again, they are not mine, they are Yours. I've been pouring my heart out for many years, and I need recharging. I ask You to comfort and cover the brokenhearted. I know Your eyes do not slumber. You always see them. You always love them.
I need a little break from sad circumstances. I need to putz around my house and decorate, plant mums, cook fabulous meals, play outside, read to Zach and share hot tea, cuddle with my dogs, watch all my favorite under-dog movies, and go to bed at night with the energy to make love to my husband.
Please give me the words to let those beautiful women know that they have not lost their place in my heart.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Well, I guess those are the words. Here's the plan: I will write happy hellos, updates, and begin telling you a little more about myself through November. Let's see, how about Tuesdays and Fridays? I will take the month of December off, but check in with me once in a while because I'm in the midst of searching for a few women who will join me in writing to you. Then you'll have more resources to choose from, and I won't be overwhelmed because I still have a day job and three sample chapters to write for a book on forgiveness.
Come back Friday, I'll post the introduction to the book! Meanwhile, I work tonight, tomorrow, and teach on the topic of forgiveness tomorrow night to a small group of women I just love, love, love!
How do you feel lately? Are you in need of recharging? What are your favorite things? What are your favorite silly things?
Published on Wednesday, October 20, 2010 @ 12:50 PM CDT