I'm working on a non-fiction project called Bohemian Forgiveness: Five Unconventional Paths to Forgiving What You'll Never Forget. There's not much to see on the Facebook page for now but it will come, and I'll be sure to keep you posted.
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"Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom." (Psalm 51: 6 NKJV)
I love the Lord. Really. I do. But I'm gonna go out on a limb today and confess to you that there are parts inside me that don't always feel loving. Parts that want to shake a fist at God and cry out, "Why is another long-time friend of mine terminal with cancer? And why does yet another friend have to deal with the news that her husband of over twenty-five years now has cancer in his lymph system?
On a day when I'm not feeling so why-God-why, I would tell you that I do not believe God's children suffer in vain. Ever. I believe in my heart that when our suffering appears senseless; meaningless, something greater is accomplished. Something we cannot see in the earthly realm we live in.
If only my inward parts . . . those doubting, angry, grief-stricken parts would yield to wisdom. In retrospect, I suppose they did yield a little today. I sat at a picnic table and enjoyed a slice of pepperoni pizza with a cold coke. I sat. I ate. I people watched. I felt His presence. I appreciated the fact that despite all my grumbling and minor to moderate meltdowns, Wisdom sat with me. Hope He likes cold coke and pepperoni pizza. I KNOW He likes people. With this simple act of loving kindness, I remembered that I'm not alone. As I drove home I sensed myself rounding the corner of why-God-why to the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Why, just this morning I said to my husband, "I'd like to get through one day without having a meltdown."
"Yes. I'd like that too." (smile)
Published on Wednesday, December 5, 2012 @ 1:33 PM CDT