When we're deeply wounded by someone we loved and trusted we mostly just want to know how long it will take to scratch the surface of the life we once knew. Because as painful as it may have been, we knew our way around the pain in that life.

Freedom shows up when we finally concede that the life we once lived-- along with the mindset needed to maintain it, is gone forever. 

Want to be rescued? You must learn to fight for your freedom one glance at a time. Initially, it may be one step forward, two steps back. Meaning, one day your eyes are open to what God shows you about your new life. And then the next day--or even the same day, you may find yourself looking back again . . . longing for the illusion and the girl who's familiar with it.

There's a brilliant song by Florance And The Machines called The Dog Days Over. It's about a woman who fell in love fast and hard with a man who turned out to be abusive. After a long entrapment, she flees. 

Florance sings: Leave all your love and your longing behind. You can't carry it with you if you want to survive.

So, if you're wondering why a heart can long for a relationship that included sustained neglect and being devalued, I'll give ya my personal take on it:

Because when the relationship dissolves, so do the signature rhythms of how a girl gets from one disillusioned day to the next. This encompasses more than simply "life as you know it." It includes YOU--as you knew you, in that life. 

This is not small feat to overcome. If it feels hard. It is! If it's the worst pain you've ever felt. I concur! 

But here's what I KNOW: You're worth the battle. Fight for YOU. It won't happen overnight. Nothing worth fighting for is easily obtained. But I promise you: God is who He says He is. When you fully embrace this truth, you will be free to believe that YOU are also who He says you are. And who He says you are will demolish the hurtful things man has said about you in the past. This is how freedom is won. Victory is sweeter than any childhood fantasy about fated kisses from princes who awaken sleeping beauties.

God says it like this:

Mercy and truth have met together; righteousness and peace have kissed (Psalm 85:10).

Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, puts it this way:

"This training might prove to be the hardest part of my life. It just might save me." 

Wake up! You're beautiful! And you are not alone,

Wendy