Please pardon the disappearance as Hannah and I prepare to head over to Mission EDIFY this January!
Then He said, "Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord." And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake, a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire, a still small voice.
I've read this verse a gazillion times. But just the other day I came across it and thought to myself:
If I can stand before the Lord and face the damage done by the wind and the earthquake and the fire, and hold fast to the hem of redemption, then acceptance is a still small voice. Perhaps Love's greatest miracle is acceptance.
In the stillness of an otherwise fleeting thought, I accepted my circumstances to be none other than what they are; filled with the steady presence of a Hope I accepted long ago.
God in heaven, create in all single mothers, a steadfast heart and renewed spirit when the length of a hard day stretches further than our capacity to bend with the curves life throws our way.
Empower us to stand strong and knock [it] out the park. Thanks, by the way, for beer and hot dogs. And Alcoholics Anonymous for those who must abstain. (Just covering the bases!)
We are not alone,
Published on Saturday, July 25, 2015 @ 5:29 PM CDT
Last week, I wrapped with plans to expand on the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. (If you missed it, scroll down--it's beneath this one.)
My personal take on these stages during the first year of my divorce:
- Denial. Anger expressed over trivial things due to my devastation over major things.
- Anger. Outward expressions (aka meltdowns) of the inward pain caused by the ex-hub's blatant disrespect for myself and the female gender.
- Bargaining. This was my "anger management" phase where like Esau in, Genesis 27, I consoled myself with the thought of murder.
- Depression. In this stage I awakened to just how vulnerable a position denial leaves a woman. This phase included a parallel phase replete with rhetorical questions such as: Why did I eat, drink, smoke (nothing illegal), or text that? Followed by the tearful prayer: Jesus, please forgive me.
- Acceptance. I resolved to be angry about what happened. I refused to allow the enemy's version of anger to define me, and I sought God for His expression of righteous anger. (Btw, this is where new life begins. If you've yet to garner control over your anger, take heart. In the arms of All Mighty God, you will. You will, because it's HIS will.)
"Healthy anger expresses limitations--i.e., what is acceptable and what is not. Blaming anger recycles the history of betrayal and all the intense feelings that are a part of a trauma bond."
Published on Tuesday, October 14, 2014 @ 7:23 PM CDT