Discover Divine Purpose in the Passions

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Mission EDIFY is a grassroots ministry of reconciliation for adults suffering the impact of abuse, exploitation; grievous loss and betrayal.

United in charity, let us strive to

Enlighten faith communities to the unspoken needs of the traumatized.
Defend human dignity.
Initiate the discovery of divine purpose in "the passions" (St. Aquinas).
Foster daily conversion.
Yield to mercy--with justice. has moved--with a new name to boot!

"And you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will give" (Isaiah 62:2b).

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Monday, February 27, 2012 4:55 PM

Our Mistakes Cannot Overshadow God's Redeeming Love

Monday, February 27, 2012 4:55 PM
Monday, February 27, 2012 4:55 PM

I spent time this past weekend with someone who is baffled and heart broken over her recent behavior. She's up to her chin in the journey to healing and so ready to see a new reflection of herself in the mirror.

All humans are faced with moments when we want to do better. Act better. Be better. This brings to mind a profound scene in the novel THE WILD THINGS, adapted from the illustrated children's book WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE; recently made into a movie.

Copyright 2009 Dave Eggers
McSweeney's Books
San Francisco

Max (the boy in the wolf suit), struggles to understand why he continues to "ruin everything." He approaches Alexander, a friend he'd hurt when he lost control of his temper.

"You want me to move?' Alexander whispered.

"No," Max said. He looked closely at Alexander, realizing at last that they were more alike than different. Their size, their fur--they were versions of the same undersized and over-trying creatures. He thought about putting his hand on Alexander's back, but when he raised his arm, Alexander flinched. There was a raw wound there, the fur missing and the skin red and bruised.

"Did I do that? Max said.


Max stared at the wound for a moment, then knelt down next to Alexander.

"Does it hurt?" Max asked, hoping the answer was no.

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Tuesday, June 7, 2011 10:51 AM

A Belated Mother's Day Inventory: Part 2

Tuesday, June 7, 2011 10:51 AM
Tuesday, June 7, 2011 10:51 AM

Forget that it's June. In Part 1, I challenged you to take an honest inventory of the people you "mother" to the detriment of cultivating healthy relationships.

As a result of child abuse, I'd developed a controlling and critical attitude--my way of coping with the sense of powerlessness that continued into adulthood. Healing required me to recognize it, confess it, and adopt a new mind-set.  

Simple, but not easy. You have to want it badly. You have to continue in that trajectory when you feel like giving up. It takes time. I had to be willing to consider my reactions to the people around me--my reactions were broken.

But there's two sides to this coin of reaction to abuse. A friend comments:

"Been down this road. Have the scars and the smiles to prove it. Dysfunction finds its own. The first ten years of my marriage were the WORST. The last nearly ten have gradually improved for us both. God is so good!

Learning to hold my tongue was the opposite of my problem. My husband was the belittler and quick to point out real or perceived slights. I had to trust God for the courage to speak up in honesty, and not back down about the abuse in my marriage.

It was the hardest thing I ever did, but gradually I got better at it. God honored the honesty without rancor. My husband is a different man, in large part because I opened my mouth.

I realize I'm different from most women in this respect. I see it all the time, passive anger, the criticism in public. It's so painful. My problem was no less deadly to my marriage, though."


Healing required me to close my mouth. My friend's healing required her to open her mouth. We both had to recoginize it, confess it, and adopt a new mind-set. God acted on our behalf.

No matter the side of the coin you're on, you can heal. Let God heal you on the inside and you'll be amazed at what will change on the outside.

*Special note: If you are currently in an abusive relationship, if you or your children are in physical danger, this blog is not a call to "stay put and pray." Get to a safe place as quickly as possible.

The National Hotline for Domestic Violence:

1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline:

1-800-4-A-CHILD or

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