Deep down, I know. I control nothing. Like the sun, I rose this morning because God said, "Wake up sleepy head."

I work and earn a living wage. Tithe. Pay the bills. Fund the savings account when I can. Shop a little when I can. And then I forget. I control nothing. Visible provision fosters the feeling that it's me who directs my fate. Awe . . . control. The grand illusion. I confess. I like the illusion.

When provision shines high in the sky I "cast my care upon the Lord" with ease. But what about seasons of financial overcast when my trust in God is tested in the midst of what I can't see. In the absence of sun-shiny-provision the doubt in my heart is exposed.

When fear and uncertainty arise. I confess. I confess because the tender mercies of Eternal Father Almighty God compel me to lean in and tell the truth. I tell the truth. He listens. I cry. He comforts. I wait (longer than I'd prefer). And then God commands provision to shine brightly once again.

I feel badly about the times I can't offer Him 100% trust. He is, after all, 100% trustworthy. I thank Him for loving me regardless. I thank Him for loving me enough to cloud the traditional ways my needs are met just long enough to remind me that He is my Source. When the channels change, the Source remains the same.

Faithful God is in control.

"Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the light even though for the moment you do not see."  --Bill Wilson

What are you weathering in life today? Does provision shine brightly, or are you in a season of overcast and uncertainty? 

You are not alone,

Wendy

My darkest hours do not represent a day in time, when horrible things happened to me on earth. 2 Peter 3:8 is a reminder that God is not bound by time and space.

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends; With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day."

My darkest hour represents the darkest place in my heart--the part that convinces me to despair. No breakthroughs for you, Wendy. You'll never get past this. Part of me believes the lie, though most of me knows better.

And so, it is I who leaves a part of my heart withering in the dark. Not God, who's always reaching for me with loving arms. He longs to pull me out of the pit that deceives me into fearing that this time, darkness overshadows divine Light. Over and over, the pit whispers, "Avenge yourself, protect yourself!"

But Light whispers too. He tells me what to pray. "I believe Lord, help me with my unbelief." (Mark 9:24 NIV) And in that moment, Light pierces me. I am re-wounded. The blood of an unhealed wound is absorbed in the blood of Christ. I am consecrated and suddenly, all things are possible in Him. (Matthew 9:26 NIV)

Miraculously, an incident that hurt for a thousand years, is put in its rightful place--a day. I gain eternal perspective. 

Question: If you have something in your heart with which you struggle to trust God, will you consider going to Him and telling Him how you feel? Close with this beautiful prayer, "I believe Lord, help me with my unbelief."