I'm working on a non-fiction project called Bohemian Forgiveness: 5 Unconventional Paths to Forgiving What You'll Never Forget.
I have a literary agent. And submissions to publishing houses are underway. Meanwhile, a graphic designer is creating a collateral design that will feature 25 excerpts. This is a sample!
I'll keep you posted as we progress!
copyright 2018. Ame B. Design
I'm wading through the murky waters of divorce when a friend invites me to a conference for women. I accept (reluctantly).
On the last day we arrive to pink envelopes thoughtfully placed on our seats. Each envelop contains a Scripture . . . a "timely word from the Lord," if you will. I'm afraid to open my envelope. I'm afraid because these days I prefer swear words over ten-week Bible studies. I fear my "word" will be something along the lines of: Repent! Repent! Wicked and swearing sinner!
I take my ticking bomb to the ladies room, shut myself inside a stall, and pray: Lord, please don't hurt me. I'm fragile. I need a kind word even though I probably don't deserve one. Only You know how many times I've said the F-word since I read the phone bill and, well, You know. Amen.
I peel back my envelope hoping the fragments of my heart won't be blown into bits so tiny they are no longer visiable to the naked eye.
Renounce your sins by doing what is right,
and your wickedness by being kind to the oppressed.
It may be that your prosperity will continue.
Daniel 4: 27 NIV
Me to God: Um. I was kind of hoping I wouldn't get a scripture like this one because I'm spiraling into despair--Holy Writ in hand.
God to me: If I was your earthly father, Wendy, I'd hold your sweet hands and ask: Why do you allow him to treat you this way? Why? Abuse is not my will.
Talk about a Daddy-daughter moment. He loves and sees and hears me in my circumstances. He wants me to repent; to renounce my tolerance of the abuse and betrayal I've tolerated for years in the very home I've tried so hard to make a haven. To extend some long over-due kindness to the oppressed, present company included!
Daniel 4: 27 brought to light my distorted view of the Father's heart toward His daughters. In less than five minutes--and from a bathroom stall, Love redeems a skewed and unloving perception of a Bible verse I could only see through the lens of guilt and shame. Wow.
I think of Matthew 18:12. If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won't he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills in the conference and go out and search for the one that is lost hiding in a bathroom stall?
Prayer: Jesus, You alone know what we need to see differently. May the lens with which we perceive your written word always be interpreted through Your mery and love.
You are not alone,
Published on Tuesday, July 10, 2018 @ 5:32 AM CDT
It all matters.
All of you.
All that's happened to you.
And all you must face as you muster the resolve to show up for life each day. Life is not an X-Box game. You can't mute the swear words inside a broken heart bleeding real blood. There's no pause button for the overwhelmed. No high-score to obtain for the number of times you force a smile in one day and proclaim to be fine when you're not.
Not everything that happens to you is okay. Some experiences are not okay and are not ever going to be okay--ever.All manner of abuse is not okay. Whether or not the person who's hurt you awakens to the harm they've inflicted is inconsequential to the story of how you are going to be okay.
You can be more than okay. You can. But you must keep moving forward in a journey likely to require a fresh take on what it looks like to move forward.
If you've suffered indignity, indifference, and injury--be it emotional, verbal, and/or physical and you recognize it as abuse, you are moving forward.
If you've recently separated from an abusive partner, you are moving forward.
You are moving forward.
Take heart. When you find yourself in an immobilized heap on the floor, you are still moving forward.
When rage supersedes your ten-week Bible study and the capacity to walk with your head held high in "Christian countenance," you are moving forward.
The mornings you laugh out loud at something completely inappropriate--after having cried yourself to sleep, you are moving forward.
The long nights you stare blankly at the ceiling, wondering if God sees you, you are moving forward.
When you shout to heaven with clenched fists, "Why don't You care?"--you are moving forward.
The shoes you charge that aren't in the budget.
The Chardonnay you consume 'cause you just can't take it anymore . . .
This is all of you, moving forward.
And it all takes place in the palm of God, who holds the whole world in His hands. This includes you. And everything you schlep into a Bible story of faith and frailty because this time, you are the main character.
You are not alone,
Published on Monday, June 25, 2018 @ 7:30 AM CDT